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bah-reeeee
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 Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 2:22 pm Post subject: SFS Pile of absolute cack!! |
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My first SFS guys, be gentle..
I was on my way to work last week, mining my own business, when I saw this car in a petrol station just around the corner from the office. I almost crashed into the pumps as I drove in because of it. As I was inside the guy tried to leave and the god-awful sound it was making got the attention of the whole forecourt, not to mention the smoke coming from under the bonnett!! 
So I followed it as it limped to a nearby industrial estate (leaving an oil-trail) to arrive HERE!!! 
I sat in the car giggling for a few minutes and while he went into the office I took the opportunity to get these SFS pics and chat to the nice engineers at VOSA. They couldn't believe this had been brought for it's roadworthyness inspection.  
Flush boot....nice
Bonnet bulge....check
Intercooler......oh yes
Super slick bodykit.......pfft
Custom paint job
Bespoke interior
Wide flared arches
Panel alignment by a blind cunt!
Mean rear mirror warrior
Side exit exhaust
It seems the whole of the VOSA garage came out to see this and they were all laughing. The main tester didn't want to be in a picture with it.... Apparently it has a Cosworth engine but that doesn't help when there's brake fluid leaking everywhere and the prop is grinding against the chassis.
It was seriously so bad that they slapped a prohibition order on it and told him it could only leave on a trailer 
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aziraphale
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Joined: 20 Jan 2006
Location: getting progressively fucked off with/skinted by this Alfa.
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| Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 2:38 pm Post subject: |
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what. the. fuck?
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| Standard wrote: | | there was never a potato famine... the stupid fuckers just forgot where they planted them. |
| SamuthNBS wrote: | Only poofs do the ring.  |
19:11:01 [Famine] I was talking about Daywalker's nutsack.
19:11:23 [Famine] Also, my fingers smell of rabbit. |
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kidsinister
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Joined: 24 Mar 2005
Location: The brink.
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| Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 2:59 pm Post subject: |
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Jesus, that re-defines 'hopeless optimism' doesn't it?
What the fuck was he thinking?
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| don_choco wrote: | | There is no honour in cycling. |
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Dr.Taff
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Location: Nodnol, Bulgaria
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| Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 3:06 pm Post subject: |
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What craftsmanship on the errr, bonnet thing and the wings. You hardly notice the panel gaps either. Can this be nominated for SOTW even though it's not technically barry? It is an epic shed after all.
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| Quote: | 17:45:05 [Daywalker] IT'S TACO!
17:45:11 [Rob_BC] I still have a photo of his anus and balls, oddly |
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Famine
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Location: Ice fishing!
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| Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 3:12 pm Post subject: |
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| Dr.Taff wrote: | | What craftsmanship on the errr, bonnet thing and the wings. You hardly notice the panel gaps either. Can this be nominated for SOTW even though it's not technically barry? It is an epic shed after all. |
Find a make and model, and I'll think about it.
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Forumsigs
[C20LETMINI] Go on, be a sheep like the rest of the lemmings
[Liam_Olf] Rovers. Just fucking don't.
Realitysigs
[Venari] Mmm, the smell of rape.
Chatsigs
15:26:38 [Rob_BC] You freaking weirdoid
21:36:03 [DavidB] I never tried to actually take enough in to swallow it.
21:36:07 [tbj] you just have to pour it down yer gullet then?
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bah-reeeee
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| Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 3:13 pm Post subject: |
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| kidsinister wrote: | Jesus, that re-defines 'hopeless optimism' doesn't it?
What the fuck was he thinking? |
To be fair, the driver/creator didn't look like the thinking type.....
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iamanidiot
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| Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 3:13 pm Post subject: |
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I know that I couldn't build a car. Obviously this chap does not have the same level of self awareness.
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00:56:53 [mikey_monkfish] He pretended to be old when he was actually about 14.
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veedub_rado
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Joined: 17 Sep 2005
Location: Dangerously close to W*les
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| Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 3:18 pm Post subject: |
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It's that blocky and choppy, it looks like a model on Need For Speed 2 that's hit the wall a few times.
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BleachedEgo
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| Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 3:20 pm Post subject: |
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That is fucking fantastic.
As the op said in the Famine Q&A thread, it's not technically a road going/manufactured car, just a badly made kit car of some kind.
But, oh fuck is it good. I have never seen anything as shonky as that.
Great little story to accompany it too. I love the way that he probably drove and spluttered all the way, just to have to trailer it out of there.
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Space_Doubt
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| Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 3:21 pm Post subject: |
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| I declare shenanigans - those inspectors all appear to be keeping a straight face! |
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Dr.Taff
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| Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 3:22 pm Post subject: |
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| Famine wrote: | | Find a make and model, and I'll think about it. |
Shames, chances of that happening are slim to none.
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| Quote: | 17:45:05 [Daywalker] IT'S TACO!
17:45:11 [Rob_BC] I still have a photo of his anus and balls, oddly |
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kidsinister
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| Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 3:32 pm Post subject: |
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What tickles me most is, he's remembered the rear number plate light. 
"Yes... you won't be needing that, sir."
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| don_choco wrote: | | There is no honour in cycling. |
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SamuthNBS
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| Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 3:59 pm Post subject: |
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It has a Vauxhall steering wheel...
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[Famine] And grip has... what to do with drive types?
<Stormscape> Yo dawg we heard you like Macs so we only put one pedal in your car. |
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bah-reeeee
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| Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 4:02 pm Post subject: |
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| kidsinister wrote: | What tickles me most is, he's remembered the rear number plate light.
"Yes... you won't be needing that, sir." |
That's actually a handle!!!!! I think it's to open the 'boot' it looks like one of them plastic twisty handle things....
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Now with new patented "Anti-new page fail" system! |
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aziraphale
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Joined: 20 Jan 2006
Location: getting progressively fucked off with/skinted by this Alfa.
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| Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 4:06 pm Post subject: |
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| SamuthNBS wrote: | | It has a Vauxhall steering wheel... |
a sign of fail second only to a "Selespeed" badge....
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My Old Car
| Standard wrote: | | there was never a potato famine... the stupid fuckers just forgot where they planted them. |
| SamuthNBS wrote: | | Only poofs do the ring. |
19:11:01 [Famine] I was talking about Daywalker's nutsack.
19:11:23 [Famine] Also, my fingers smell of rabbit. |
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tigran
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Location: In ur doorZ, refusin u entry.
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| Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 4:41 pm Post subject: |
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Ahh stonebridge business park, that brings back some memories.
Back to the car - i really don't know what to say. Like proper speachless.
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Jake: Hit it. |
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Venari
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Location: Dunno, but I'm breakin' out.
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| Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 4:56 pm Post subject: Re: SFS Pile of absolute cack!! |
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| bah-reeeee wrote: | | My first SFS guys, be gentle.. |
Gentle? Fuck off. You can have a good, hard POTW-nomination up the shitter for this.
Well spotted.
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"Mating face... is that like your cum face?" - Noo, Shakey, August 2010.
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no8yogi
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| Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 6:22 pm Post subject: |
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| aziraphale wrote: | | SamuthNBS wrote: | | It has a Vauxhall steering wheel... |
a sign of fail second only to a "Selespeed" badge.... |
hey leave out mine is still working! (just) sometimes it does not like second gear granted but only sometimes!
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aziraphale
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Joined: 20 Jan 2006
Location: getting progressively fucked off with/skinted by this Alfa.
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| Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 6:32 pm Post subject: |
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| no8yogi wrote: | | aziraphale wrote: | | SamuthNBS wrote: | | It has a Vauxhall steering wheel... |
a sign of fail second only to a "Selespeed" badge.... |
hey leave out mine is still working! (just) sometimes it does not like second gear granted but only sometimes! |
that will be recalibration time then at best.
at worst, new gearbox.
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My Old Car
| Standard wrote: | | there was never a potato famine... the stupid fuckers just forgot where they planted them. |
| SamuthNBS wrote: | | Only poofs do the ring. |
19:11:01 [Famine] I was talking about Daywalker's nutsack.
19:11:23 [Famine] Also, my fingers smell of rabbit. |
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wiganer
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| Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 6:41 pm Post subject: |
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I see his attention to detail extended to getting his directional tyres on the right way round as well.
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kidsinister
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| Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 6:43 pm Post subject: Re: SFS Pile of absolute cack!! |
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| Venari wrote: | | You can have a good, hard POTW-nomination up the shitter for this. |
You may be right. I can see this one doing the internet rounds this week... probably starting with Pistonheads, ending up on Street Felchers in about three years when they've caught up.
lol
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| don_choco wrote: | | There is no honour in cycling. |
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felneymike
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| Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 8:32 pm Post subject: |
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Yeah that's all well and good, but what was inside the bin bags?
Wait, that's the what?
What a cum gargler
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| WeirdNeville wrote: | | Christ. It's like being trapped inside a vagina and being set on fire all at once in there.... only with more playmobil. |
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eMuNiX
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Location: Dodging road trains
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| Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2009 10:25 pm Post subject: |
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This only puts one thing in my mind and that was the threat of the men in white coats coming to take you away. The only redeeming feature being that it made it to the centre before being condemned. Bodywork made from papier mache/recycled cardboard/fibreglass who can say, may as well be expanding foam gnawed out by a voracious hoard of hamsters, either way the owner should be sectioned before they cause harm to themselves. Absolutely fucking priceless.
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felneymike
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| Posted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 2:41 pm Post subject: |
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Nobody will beleive this (as i was too dumbstruck to take pictures, but will keep my eyes very peeled in future!) but i saw a car just as bad today!
It was an "off roader", which looked like play-dough had been vaguely shaped into a jeep/land roverish shape, and then a tent dropped on top of it
It was in Lincoln if there's anybody else around that wants to keep thier eyes open... it was magnificently shite
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| WeirdNeville wrote: | | Christ. It's like being trapped inside a vagina and being set on fire all at once in there.... only with more playmobil. |
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aziraphale
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| Posted: Thu Mar 26, 2009 2:44 pm Post subject: |
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i make no claim to have any kind of artistic talent in any way whatsoever, but i bet i could take a hammer to a piece of sheet metal and have it come out straighter than that bonnet.
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My Old Car
| Standard wrote: | | there was never a potato famine... the stupid fuckers just forgot where they planted them. |
| SamuthNBS wrote: | | Only poofs do the ring. |
19:11:01 [Famine] I was talking about Daywalker's nutsack.
19:11:23 [Famine] Also, my fingers smell of rabbit. |
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